What Is a Romance Scam? Signs, Examples and How to Protect Yourself
Romance scams happen when a fraudster builds a fake relationship with you, earns your trust over weeks or months, and then manipulates you into sending money. They are among the most emotionally devastating fraud types and one of the fastest growing in the UK at the moment.
If you think you have been targeted then you are not alone. In this article we will discuss what a romance scam is, how they work, signs of a romance scammer, real life examples and how to recover your funds.
What is a Romance Scam?
Romance scams are a type of Authorised Push Payment (APP) scam and according to UK Finance £39.2 million was lost in 2025, a 23% rise on the previous year. They occur when a fraudster builds a story to engage in an emotional relationship with a victim. Once the scammer has gained your trust, they’ll start asking you to send money, vouchers or gift cards. By the time victims realise what has happened, significant funds have been lost along with the trust of someone they believed genuinely cared about them.
How Romance Scams Work
Romance scams almost always begin online, through social media platforms or dating apps such as Tinder, Hinge, or Bumble. Scammers create convincing fake profiles using stolen or AI-generated images and initiate what appears to be a genuine connection.
Once contact is established, they ask questions, show interest in your life, and build rapport over time. After gaining your initial trust, they share a fabricated backstory that typically involves working abroad in the military, on an oil rig, or as an overseas doctor, explaining why they cannot meet in person.
As the relationship develops, they begin requesting money urgently, citing emergencies such as a frozen bank account, a family crisis, or costs to travel home to you. In some instances, fraudsters pose as experienced cryptocurrency or forex traders and encourage victims to invest through fraudulent trading platforms. What begins as a romance scam can quickly develop into a sophisticated investment fraud.
Signs of a Romance Scammer
It is important to be aware of some common signs of a romance scammer so you can protect yourself online:
You came across the person through social media or a dating site
Most romance scams begin with an unsolicited message or a match on a dating app. They will quickly suggest moving the conversation to WhatsApp or Telegram.
They create a fake story about themselves
Common stories involve working away from home for extended periods including the military, oil rigs, overseas medical work. The story explains why they cannot meet you or video call reliably.
They profess their love or feelings quickly
Scammers move fast emotionally to establish a bond and build trust before requests for money begin.
They won’t meet face-to-face or through video meets
Excuses are always tied to their cover story. Note that with advances in AI, deepfake video calls are now possible so a video call alone is not guaranteed verification.
They ask for money urgently for multiple reasons
Requests typically begin small and increase over time, with reasons becoming progressively more serious: a frozen account, a family emergency, imprisonment, costs to return home.
They ask for payment through gift cards, crypto or PayPal
This is another common sign of a romance scammer and these payment methods are harder for banks to identify as fraud and offer victims significantly less protection than direct bank transfers.
They request remote access control to your device
The scammer will ask for remote access control of your device to facilitate the payments and exploit the trust you have built to ensure the funds have been sent to them.
They claim they are an expert trader in crypto/investments
When the romance scammer claims they are an expert trader, they will get you to download a crypto or investment account and send funds to them through these means. This is a tactic used by the scammer to move you into another type of scam such as crypto or investment scams.
The request for funds do not stop
Once you send money, the requests continue and escalate. Scammers are relentless, they will continue until contact is cut entirely.
Romance Scam Examples
At Refundee, we speak with romance scam victims regularly. Two real cases illustrate the impact of romance scams.
Romance Inheritance & crypto scam:
One client came to us while grieving the loss of a family member and having recently received inheritance funds. A scammer identified and exploited their vulnerability, building trust over time before persuading them to invest the inheritance into a fake cryptocurrency scheme.
The scammer showed a professional-looking trading dashboard with impressive returns to build confidence, encouraging larger and larger deposits. Once all funds were sent, contact was cut immediately. The client lost not only their inheritance but also had to process the emotional manipulation alongside their grief.
A second client was targeted by a scammer posing as the actor Jason Statham through a convincing fake dating profile.
After building a relationship over several weeks, the scammer claimed their bank account had been frozen and requested an urgent short-term loan, promising repayment once the account was recovered.
Because of the supposed celebrity status, the client believed the repayment was credible. Payments were requested through gift cards to make access easier given the frozen account. Once the funds were sent, contact ceased entirely. The client only understood they had been scammed after contacting Refundee.
Where Romance Scammers Operate: Dating Apps and WhatsApp
Romance scammers actively target dating platforms and social media. Once contact is initiated, they quickly move conversations to private messaging apps such as WhatsApp and Telegram, isolating the victim from the platform's reporting tools and creating a more private, controlled environment.
Common Romance Scammer Phrases and Questions to Ask
Romance scammers use recognisable phrases like; "I've never felt like this before", "we'll be together soon", "my bank account is frozen", "my family is in danger", "I just need enough to get home."
If you suspect someone may be a romance scammer, there are practical steps to verify:
Request a video call - refusal or persistent excuses is a significant red flag
Reverse image search their photo - scammers frequently use stolen profile images
Search their name with "scam" - previous victims often post warnings online
Question the story - ask yourself whether the narrative makes logical sense
Talk to someone you trust - an outside perspective can identify what emotional involvement may obscure
What to do If You've Lost Money to a Romance Scam
If you have lost money to a romance scam then there are steps you can take to recover from this and acting quickly improves your chances:
Stop all communication with the scammer
Do not send any further payments
Preserve all evidence such as chat logs, screenshots and transactions
Report the scam to Report Fraud
Contact your bank and tell them what happened
Seek emotional support through registered charities such as Victim Support
Can I Recover My Money From a Romance Scam?
If you transferred funds from a UK bank account, you may be eligible to recover your money through Authorised Push Payment (APP) fraud rules. Since October 2024, UK banks and payment firms are legally required by the Payment Systems Regulator (PSR) to reimburse eligible APP fraud victims up to £85,000 under the Mandatory Reimbursement Model. If you sent funds before October 2024, protections may still be available depending on your circumstances.
Refundee specialises in APP fraud recovery and we have recovered over £130 million for clients to date on a no win, no fee basis. It is also important to know that you have the right to represent yourself through this process for free. Refundee is here for those who prefer expert support throughout what can be a complex and emotionally difficult process.
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Refundee Ltd is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority (FRN: 937096).
FAQ’s
How do you know if someone is romance scamming you?
A romance scammer will often move the relationship forward very quickly, expressing strong feelings within a short period of time while avoiding in-person meetings or video calls. They may also create excuses for why they cannot meet and eventually ask for money, gifts, or financial assistance.
What are common romance scammer phrases?
Romance scammers frequently use phrases such as "I need money urgently," "I am in trouble and I need your help," or "You're the only person I can trust." They often combine declarations of love with stories about financial emergencies, travel problems, medical bills, or other situations that require money.
What is an example of a romance scam?
A common romance scam involves a fraudster creating a fake online dating profile and building an emotional relationship with their target over weeks or months. Once trust is established, they claim to need money for an emergency, travel costs, or a business opportunity before disappearing with the funds.
How can you tell if someone is a romance scammer?
Signs of a romance scammer include inconsistent personal details, reluctance to meet face-to-face, overly romantic language early in the relationship, and repeated requests for money or financial assistance.
Conclusion
If you have been the victim of a romance scam, do not blame yourself. Fraudsters are professional criminals who exploit you psychologically and use social engineering tactics to gain your trust. Recovering both financially and emotionally is possible. Staying informed, recognising the warning signs early, and acting quickly if targeted are the best protections you have.
More about Refundee
Here are the technical bits:
Refundee Ltd is a claims management company authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority in respect of regulated claims management activity FRN: 937096.
Registered with the Information Commissioner's Office; registration number: A8986071.
Registered office address: Refundee, 3rd Floor, 86-90 Paul Street, London, EC2A 4NE.
Registered as a company in England & Wales; number: 12855931.
